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”“Oh.” After everything he said about how Sue looked when she was having an orgasm, he could not gainsay that answer.“So I want to give you that kind of pleasure again,” Sue added.“Well it can’t happen.”“Why not?”“You really have no idea just how scary that was for me, do you?”“You know I do!”John snorted in disbelief. “Like you’ve ever been scared you were going to rape me.”Sue closed her eyes and looked down. She took a couple of deep breaths. When she look up again, her eyes were hard and intense and a bit scary.“If not actually rape you, then drive you so wild you couldn’t stop either.”That stopped John for a moment. Obviously he knew what happened between them sometimes scared her. He just did not realize it scared her that way. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t know.”“It’s okay.”“So why do you tempt fate so much?”“I never tempt fate.”“Then how come you get scared and no more than a week later you’re wanting to do the exact same thing?”“Because I figure out how to do it so I don’t lose. A pretty mess.I was way past the moment where I could ask straight away if she was cheating on me. She'd had opportunities enough to tell me and she hadn't. On the other hand, if she did not cheat, would she stay after I accused her? How could she live with the idea that I distrust her?I had to have proof."Go see what I didn't see..."I knew now that the sneaking distrust would as certainly destroy our marriage as the quick proof of her betrayal. It might be a much slower process, but probably even more painful just because of that.Last night our love had been missing. I may have been the only one feeling that. But I had tasted the horror of it. The loneliness. The bitter coldness it oozed. And I knew I could not go on like that.But how to get proof?Proof of what?Finding them in bed together would be proof of her cheating, of course. But would not finding her in bed with him be proof of her innocence? Did I have to watch her 24/7 to be sure? And would that tell me anything about the.
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